Water and Rock: Two Stories, One Phenomenon

Water and Rock: Two Stories, One Phenomenon

Water and Rock: Two Stories One Phenomenon

My boyfriend and I recently went to Iceland. We drove around the entire island and witnessed nature at its best. Every corner of this tiny country is spectacular. But, my favorite was Moss Canyon (Fjaðrárgljúfur.) For 2 Million years, the Fjaðrá river carved its way down the rocks to a depth of 100 meters (328 ft.) It was the most impressive and peaceful scene I have ever witnessed.

I knew I was going to write a blog about how the rocks just accepted the relentless push of the river and over time created a serene and beautiful site. My blog was going to be about how acceptance and not resistance leads to peace and beauty.

When I mentioned this to Matt, his take was totally different. He was on water’s side. He thought water’s perseverance was what created that magical scenery.

As I reflect on this conversation, I am reminded once again that we each have our own point of view. What creates peace and serenity is the respect and love we show one another, not a power struggle about who’s right.

May your rivers and rocks live in peace and harmony!

Thoughts

Thoughts

It is said that on average people have 48 thoughts per minute and 80% of them are negative. Is it any wonder, then, that we seek happiness everywhere but in ourselves? Eckhart Tolle says, “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it.”

Our thoughts can cause us trouble. If we ruminate too much about the past unpleasant events, we can become depressed. If we worry too much about future events, we can become anxious.

So, what’s a person to do to find peace and happiness?

I think the first step is to become aware of what’s going on in your mind. Our thoughts take on a life of their own, if we don’t pay attention.

So, how do we become aware of what’s going on in our mind?

Here’s a quick and (dare I say) fun way to do just that!

  1. Set a timer for one (1) minute
  2. Close your eyes
  3. Pretend your thoughts are trains and you are the train station
  4. Count how many trains came by the station

If you’d like to take this silly little exercise a bit further, pay attention to how many of those trains you followed and where you ended up.

 

 

Self Love

Self Love

Today’s theme seems to be love.

This morning, I met my sweetie for a walk around his neighborhood. I love early morning walks for many reasons. Being out in the cooler weather, beating Chicago rush hour traffic, getting my 10,000 steps in are just some of those reasons. After my walk, my meditation centered around love as well. Specifically, the centering thought of the Chopra meditation I followed was “The source of love is here in me.”

Many of us look to other people and things to find love in our lives, while we ignore ourselves in the process. Self love seems indulgent or undeserved. I know this first hand. But, I also know that I have much more love to give now that I practice self love regularly. Call it “filling your own cup” or “putting your own oxygen mask on before helping others” or some other metaphor…

I struggled with self love for many years. Honestly, I didn’t even know I was struggling with it. I didn’t even know that it was a thing. I did, however, recognize that there was something missing in my life and I couldn’t find it in my relationships with others.

This lack manifested itself as a warped body image, as intense self criticism, as shame, and as a whole bunch of other negative stuff. I was just too busy doing stuff, living, to take the time to investigate what it was that I was missing.

One day, my coach asked me how I could practice self love. I allowed myself to think about it and came up with a silly little practice of winking at myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth. At first it felt weird, of course. But, I forced myself to do it every day and kept it as my little secret. Over time, I started seeing a different, a happier person in the mirror. Because it made such a difference in my life, I started sharing this practice with my friends. I was overwhelmed with the positive feedback I received from those who took on the same practice. Turns out, I wasn’t the only one who needed it. Who knew?

What is self love to you and how, if at all, do you practice it?

Be The Cause of Your Success

Be The Cause of Your Success

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts” Buddha

“Our life is what our thoughts make it” Marcus Aurelius

“Change your thoughts, change your life” Wayne W. Dyer

From East to West, from thousands of years ago to today, sages tell us that our thoughts become our words, and our words turn into our deeds. Isn’t it imperative then that we notice what we are thinking? Are we giving more mind space to our limiting beliefs and thoughts or are we exploring different possibilities? Our limiting thoughts cause us to live in perpetual victim-hood with dis-empowered choices. In order to be the cause of our own success, we need to cultivate a responsibility mindset; an empowered choice mindset.

So, how do we go about doing all that? Simply by noticing our thoughts, and changing them if they don’t serve our higher self! The next time you find yourself being carried away in your thoughts, stop and notice whether these thoughts are based on limits and judgments or if they are based on possibilities. If you’d like, use a little chart to plot what you notice so that you have evidence of your thought patterns.

ROI of Coaching

ROI of Coaching

For those of us who value the bottom line and love quantitative analyses, let me offer a formula:

ROI of coaching= (Benefits of coaching-Cost to hire a coach)*100 / Cost to hire a coach

What are the benefits of coaching?

Self realization
Looking to the future with clarity
Living a more fulfilling life
Having an accountability buddy for your goals
Speed and power with which to achieve your goals
Bouncing ideas of possibilities
What other benefits can you think of?

Comparisons

Comparisons

My cousin is a better cook than I. My friend Elizabeth is thinner than I. My brother is smarter than I. My daughter is a better driver than I…

The list goes on and on!

Somehow, we get conditioned into comparing ourselves to others through the media, our parents, our culture. (Have you been keeping up with the Jones’?) It’s a wonder we do not end up in fetal position unable to lift a finger, at least on the outside.

As a coach, I’m more interested in what this fetal position looks like on the inside though.

Does “My cousin is a better cook” turn into “I’m not a good cook” and as a result I eat out every meal and go broke, and possibly unhealthy?

Does “My daughter is a better driver” turn into “I’m a lousy driver” and I end up taking public transit or a cab everywhere, or totally opt out of going places?

Where does this end?

Attaching a meaning to the results of the comparison is what gets us.

When I compare my cooking skills to my cousin’s and realize she is better, I have the following options:

I can ask her to teach me how to be a better cook
I can ask her for recommendations on recipes to practice
I can look for cooking classes to strengthen my skills
I can go into a negative space in my head and determine that I’m a lousy cook. Not only that but I’m also fat and a terrible driver. I am a lousy person!

As Teddy Roosevelt suggested, comparison can be the thief of joy, if I make the result of this comparison mean something about me.

Without that attached meaning, comparison may actually turn out to be a good thing because it may create an opportunity to learn and grow.