by Yasemin | Oct 1, 2025 | Coaching, Just Life
1. “There is nothing either good or bad, thinking makes it so”
William Shakespeare
2. “ There is a law in psychology that if you form a picture in your mind of what you would like to be, and you keep and hold that picture there long enough, you will soon become exactly as you have been thinking.”
William James
I found these quotes in the book “Seeing More Colors: A Guide to a Richer Life” by Michael S. Lewis M.D. They both speak to the capacity of our minds in shaping our reality.
Do you pay attention to your thoughts? I notice that I tell myself to wait for something to happen or something to pass before I do what I want to do. Each time I obey my mind, time passes and nothing gets accomplished. If I ignore my mind, I have amazing experiences.
How does your mind’s voice affect your decision making?
PS: This was first conceived on August 5th. Since then, I had three rounds of Covid back to back, which then turned into pneumonia. I guess that’s what happens if your immune system has been deliberately killed so that a cancer treatment can work (which it didn’t.) But, the good news is that the next treatment did work and I think I beat this menace.
by Yasemin | Jul 29, 2025 | Coaching, Just Life
Last week, I wrote about a paper written by the Philosopher Susan Wolfe regarding the question, “Is there meaning to life?” She distinguished between two possible meanings: meaning of life, and finding meaning in life.
Here’s her definition: “Meaningful life is one that is actively and at least somewhat successfully engaged in a project (or projects) of positive value.”
- Active engagement: Wolfe explains this as a state beyond going through the motions. If you are stuck in a mindless job, but still continue to go to it, you may not be actively engaged in it. On the other hand, if you lose track of time doing your work, whatever it is, (sort of what Dr. Csikszentmihalyi calls the Flow State) you would be actively engaged with it.
- Successful engagement: Success here refers to a feeling of accomplishment at the conclusion of said project.
- Positive value: This is mostly from the perspective of the one who engages in the said project, but at the same time, not just for hedonic purposes. Even if the project is to play a round of golf with friends, at least the positive value is strengthening relationships with others. One doesn’t have to be Mother Teresa to add positive value to the world.
I have mentioned before that I have a non-financial retirement planning program that is based on Positive Psychology. The reason Wolfe’s paper has so well resonated with me is because it aligns almost perfectly with my program. If you have been thinking about these life questions as you approach retirement, reach out to me. Let’s explore meaning in our lives together.
Have an excellent week!
by Yasemin | Jul 22, 2025 | Coaching, Just Life
How’s your health?
Mine is mostly good, but I had to skip my newsletter last week because of it.
- Last Monday, I had my 3 month oncology check up. Nothing changed since last time. This is not a bad thing.
- The next day I felt exceptionally tired and achy. It was Covid!
According to the CDC, as of July 15, Covid cases are growing in Illinois along with eight other states. We don’t hear about this as much in the news these days. In fact, when I told friends and family I had Covid, some reaction was: “is that still around?” Please be careful.
Covid is not the main purpose of this week’s essay however.
When one of my friends asked how my oncology appointment went, I told him I had renewed my lease for another three months. He thought it was “morbid”. Not to be dramatic, but it is kind of weird to live in three month increments. What long term plans can one make with the likelihood of cancer coming back? I’ve been thinking about this for the last week. I know that there are no guarantees for any of us, however most of us don’t have such short term timelines. At least I hope not.
Of course, this whole situation brought me back to the topic of “meaning of life”, which has been occupying my mind quite a bit lately. As I’m continuing my research, I ran across the Philosopher Susan Wolf’s writings. She argues that the question, “what is the meaning of life?” is the wrong one for non-religious people. In her 2007 paper Meanings of Lives, she states: “An understanding of meaningfulness in life, however, does seem to me to merit more philosophical attention than it has so far received, and… that meaningfulness is an intelligible feature to be sought in a life, and that it is, at least sometimes attainable but not everywhere assured”
Interesting twist here but I like it. As an atheist, I am not inclined to look for my life’s meaning in religion. Meaningfulness in life can be found in three months, in three days, or even three minutes.
Have an excellent week, and please take care of your health.
by Yasemin | Jul 8, 2025 | Coaching, Just Life
Do you acknowledge yourself?
I always thought this was a bit indulgent, or like boasting. Perhaps because of my austere upbringing, my inner critic has always been louder than my inner cheerleader. These days, I am actively trying to balance these two.
- We all have a part of ourselves that observes and evaluates our actions, according to Dr. Nelda Andersone. For some of us, this part is more judgmental, especially if we are a high achiever. Unfortunately, this leads us to trouble as in increased stress, perfectionism, or anxiety. I am too familiar!
Since my last chemotherapy, I have gained weight. Not fitting into my clothes has been bothering me. Habitually, my inner critic has become quite prominent. Thanks to meditation, I become aware of this voice readily.
- Last month, I came across a walking challenge/fund raiser for the Carter Center and I signed up. I finished the month with more miles than “required”. One thing that really helped keep my motivation up was the literal pat on the back I gave myself every time I walked 2-3 miles.
We all have a fundamental need to be acknowledged. Self acknowledgment leads to higher motivation for all we want to accomplish. I noticed that by recognizing and supporting my efforts, I am able to add more and varied activities to my day and eventually feel better in my clothes.
My pat on the back is a silly way to acknowledge myself. How do you do it?
Also, do you name your inner critic? Judge Judy is too cliche. I’m looking for ideas.
by Yasemin | Jun 24, 2025 | Coaching, Just Life
If you haven’t seen Arches and/or Canyonlands National Parks, I highly recommend them. They are stunning and awe inspiring. I think my mouth was open the entire day during our tour. Millions of years of geological events do create unimaginable beauty. I was astonished at the difference between the countryside of Colorado and Iowa. I understand better, the concept of the rugged west. Our world is such a gorgeous planet and we are so lucky to be able to live on it.
This trip was my “get out of your comfort zone” trip. While I did spend quite a bit of time alone in my little roomette, it wasn’t boring at all. I read, journaled, watched the incredible scenery as we passed by and waved at the kayakers on the Colorado River. I also ate meals with different people and heard sweet stories about people traveling thousands of miles to see their grand children and to attend cultural events. I’ve mentioned before that I consider myself a Humanist. Even though our political climate makes me question my thinking about this, my trip affirmed my belief in the innate goodness of people.
I’m already planning not only my next trip, but also my next “get out of your comfort zone” activity. I’m open to suggestions (except sky diving), so let me know what takes you out of your comfort zone.
Have an excellent week!
